Hypothetical Questions

I spent most of this week asking myself, “Am I OK?”

You’d think I’d be the utmost authority on this, the subject of What I Feel.

The fact is, I’m not, and I haven’t been for longer than I can say.

When was the last time I declared with absolute certainty,

“I feel (insert emotion here).”


Even in my depression, I wavered. Hour to hour, I claimed and denied turmoil.

It was too melodramatic to admit the truth.

But then, I’ve always occupied a space between what I know and what I suspect.

Quintessentially indecisive.

Libras, right?

The lens through which I try to view the world is simultaneously more rose-colored than the past would warrant, and more gray than the future demands.

How do I feel about that?

I still don’t know.

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